Finding Balance

Sometimes I'm at a loss for words. Not sure exactly what to do or where to turn next, I realize not everything will go as planned and I don't have an answer for it all. I feel as if no matter how hard I work, I'm still no where near where I want to be. Not with Stitches, not with Embellished and not with personal goals I've set for myself.

I know that things take time and patience is key.....blah blah blah, but I want it and I want it now!!!!! I'm just fucking tired! Excuse my language but I am. Sometimes you just get fed up no matter how promising a situation could potentially be and your not really sure why.

My friends tell me I work to much, but without question I don't have any other choice but to. Work=Money and Money makes the world go round! My hard work doesn't necessarily go without play, so I hit the city well dressed to some of the best parties and events, but trust me it is all the same! Different places same people, girls putting on, dudes thirsty to holler, crowded vip's, marijuana, spilt drinks and fucked up shoes. There was a time where I thought this was the coolest shit ever...but I've grown and I know better now.


Since I'm at Stitches so much, the Doctor is always telling me that I need a boyfriend. At this point, even that's over rated! It has its perks, but I don't think I want a boyfriend, I just don't feel like making the time, I do want a man though. The dudes I come across are either, not for me, extra thirsty or more than often just simply expect me to fall for the okey dope. Not happening! I'm from Chicago and a family who made sure I knew the bullshit when it came knocking. So as it approaches disguised as a cute new face or a nice car with dinner plans or an outing for drinks...I kindly dismiss it and keep it moving. I would rather hang at Stitches then go out with someone I'm not feeling....I don't even like drinking!

Yesterday I played hooky from business work and didn't even feel bad, the irony of it all is that I was still just as busy as if I went to work. A couple of the most successful people I know says that finding balance is one of life's greatest challenges. I quickly agree! Not everything is at your will to control. I have to work hard but I need to find some sort of balance so that everything isn't so repetitive. Just balance to keep me sane in my own crazy little world because my brand damn sure won't build itself.

~~Embellished